How To Use Valentine's Day To Reconnect With A Past Lover - 5 Tips

How To Use Valentine's Day To Reconnect With A Past Lover - 5 Tips
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Valentine's Day, the day we celebrate romantic love. Is there anyone who can say "Valentine's Day" without feeling a little twinge - memories of past loves, regrets of opportunities missed, hopes and fears for future relationships. This is a holiday that brings out our happiest and our saddest emotions. When one is fully engaged in a fresh vibrant and loving relationship, this is a day of joy and wonderment, but when one is between relationships - especially if one is still in grief over a lost partnership - this can be a day of torment. "Why me? Why am I the one without a lover today, of all days?" we say as if there were no one else without a true passionate love on this day of hearts and flowers.

Can there be anything good about being alone during the Valentine season? Perhaps there is. If you really want to reconnect with a past lover, and they are also without a partner at this time, consider using the spirit of Valentine's Day as an opportunity to win them back.

No one wants to be alone on Valentine's day - take advantage of this. Put aside for a time your own sadness and loneliness, in order to focus fully on the emotions and needs of your ex-partner. However badly being alone on this holiday makes you feel, rest assured that they also feel an emptiness during this season.

As you attempt to reconnect around a Valentine's Day theme, try these suggestions:

1. Always be kind, emotionally generous, and supportive in all your interactions. Recognize that this is a very difficult holiday for them also, and that they will be wary of your intentions.

2. Never complain to them about your own loneliness. Be the strong one who is offering emotional support to the other. Always appear self-possessed - never pathetic or needy.

3. Don't ask, just assume that they will be feeling lonely as Valentine's Day approaches. If you ask if they are feeling lonely, you will likely receive the stiff-upper-lip response that they are "doing just fine, thank you," and you will have lost a few points.

4. Suggest going on a strictly platonic date "for old time's sake." Recollect your great memories from Valentines Days when you were together, and remind your ex-lover of the great Valentine's Days you used to have.

5. Be all out romantic. Give their favorite flowers, candy, and treats. Write a sappy love poem - with specific references to happy times you spent together.

Give it a try. Even if you don't regain them as a lover, they may become your best friend.